I first met Randi at Easter in the Park with her mother Karen...a Dallas tradition that was always hit or miss, because of the weather...we had so much fun that day.

I hope I'm not over stepping, but, it wouldn't be the first time and damn sure won't be the last...I watched Randi grow into a young woman and with that growing pains that were felt by all around her...as a son, I knew of those growing pains and feel a special connection to the girl, now a woman who is trying to find her way in the world, obstacles along the way seem so huge, that there's no way to get around them, so for me, you go through them...I pray for Randi everyday, that the little girl will always remember the love that is around her and whatever happens to the sweetheart, she and her family will be ok...love you Randi.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

Press Here

and after you do that, press here

Thank you Paul J Williams for being the funniest man I know and one of the deepest...the many layers of Paul J.

Ok press here

And finally Robert Emery, a good friend, directed this video...makes me cry everytime I watch it...Listen to my Heart...The Turtle Creek Chorale went on to sing it, among others...it was the first CD I ever sang on...the people in the video I know...

Lunch with good friend Becky, crazy, wacky, Becky! Pictures to come I promise.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

It's A New Day...Press Here

It's funny, I got an email yesterday asking about my paintings....I said google me....I'm on google, can you believe it? By the way, so is my Dad and not the poker player...www.stevefrederickphoto.com and so is whimdesigns.com....I could go on and on

Enough said...for me, for now...


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5pm..

New Inspiration...press here

I'm heading for that rainbow! no matter what, no matter who.


Tough times don't last, tough people do.

A journey of a thousand miles takes a single step...



Sometimes I feel like I'm in a nightmare, sometimes a dream...

I think I've said a thousand times how much Dallas has changed to friends...yesterday with friends Burt and Tim, I finally started to realize, I'm the one changing...it's frustrating, but, I'm doing it...what people take for granted I'm relearning everyday...and it continues.

Rehab at St. Clair was extraordinary, the client privacy was a surprising, so much so, that we as outpatients, only guessed at the others afflictions....stroke? M.S? other....I was other..I'm gay, I have Aids and now, PML...if you have any questions on any of it, look it up on google, that's my pat answer...I didn't say anything before because I was afraid Sandy and others wouldn't like me...going back to Missouri, reminded me of High School, trying to fit in and always feeling a part from everything and everyone...I'm realizing at 44 you can't run from yourself, because no matter where you go, there you are.

I understand not talking...a million things constantly racing thru your head....what if's can suck...but, what if you get better, what if you beat all odds, what if you said fuck off to everyone? Simple things are the most important...simple can be huge.

I now have two incurable diseases in my body, but, I'm still here....no one wants to be a burden and everyone wants to be heard...I'm slowly taking my own advice...maybe at 80 I'll have it down pat. As far as Sandy...I was told a million times, that it was up to me to push past the bullshit...the bullshit never stops, one day it's acorns, the next it's paved stones outside or dropping something...But, shit happens and life goes on with or without you...you decide if it's worth all the crap, because within that crap are jewels..you are now one of those jewels for me...Shine baby, shine!

I'm starting to get more emails regarding my blog and how I might need to focus more on art...and to those chicken shit bastards I say bite me...I am my art, I am more than my art and cute little cards, that by the way are supporting my ass, so take your thoughts on what I should do and concentrate more on yourself....and yes, I know who you are because I have google, just like everyone else...I'm not going to post the statements, but, I could...life is too short to focus on the crap...and I won't....I'm going now for a walk...65 degrees here and sunny.

I'm up to 20 steps without the cane...still trying to figure out how to post the video on the blog...be patient, don't you love that word!

Still no ass, I have AZT butt, need asI have to fill them ouuuuttttt!

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

I was cleaning up some photo's this morning and found this one...I painted it for my Mom and Pop while visiting...before all of this happened, this is their driveway and it was such a beautiful day, I decided to paint outside...the painting is now hanging in their kitchen and the bottom outside of the painting is still not done...kinda funny, neither am I!



The weekend is here and I'm allllliiiiiivvvvvveeeeee!!! Lunch with good friend Laura Kerr and her girlfriend, Lisa...we laughed and talked about the ride and everything Laura is doing...gurls got it goin onnnnnn!

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It's friday night, I'm just getting done with dinner in Dallas and a cold front is rolling thru...I went for a walk today with my walker and got lost...I started crying, because, I realized, I was here in Dallas, I didn't care that I was lost...I sat down on a bus bench and saw the countless people walking by, shopping, working, eating lunch or just wandering....there was a small fair going on in the shopping market up the street from the house...children laughing, parents yelling for their kids to behave...I laughed...people talking spanish to me, asking I guess if I was ok...I don't know, because I don't speak spanish and I started to cry again, because I've always wanted to learn another language....Drama Queen that I am I decided to stop with the tears and learn some spanish...never too late...it ain't over till it's over.

So, as the cold front comes thru and the winds pick up I'm watching Archie Bunker on the spanish station, there are lot's of them here....I don't understand any of it, but am laughing my ass off. Miss my Gracie Girl...I've got a pillow on the bed and am pretending it's her...I'm glad she's with Mom and Pop for now, but, it doesn't make it any easier.

Tonight is the lighting of the christmas lights in downtown Dallas and Neiman Marcus, it's too early, although I was painting christmas cards in August...oh well.

Tough times don't last, tough people do,